Skallid Shortages #

21 July 1998

IKEA really piss me off at times. Today was one of those times. I didn’t want to have to wander through the “showroom” and the “marketplace” and end up in the restaurant. All I wanted was to go to the appropriate shelf in aisle 28 and pick up a couple of “Skallid” CD storage units. But it seems this was too much to ask. When I eventually go to the “self-service warehouse”, all the Skallids were gone. Even the ones in disgusting shades of red and green. So I guess my CDs will have to sit on the floor for now.

Anyway, it’s late July, so I wasn’t surprised to get a call from Fiona at Safestyle UK Windows. Yes, I do remember you calling me a few months ago. No, dear, I still don’t want any new window. Or doors, no. Just leave me alone, will you? I have nice windows and doors, I like them, now piss off. If ever there was a way to guarantee you’ll never get my business, it’s by phoning me four times a year.

email from Richard: I feel I ought to point out that you have started using work jargon in your natural speech/e-mails; eg- buy a roll mat - “I’ll ACTION that soon”!! He’s perfectly correct, too, which makes it all the more scary.